Professor Razes the Evil of Writing Rules, Whacks White Supremacy by Gonging Grades

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Scientists have long searched for one component connecting all of Creation.

Thankfully, in 2021, we appear to have found it.

Surprisingly, such discovery has come without assistance from those in a lab.

And as a bit of a downer, our binding tie turns out to be white supremacy.

At least, that’s the state of the universe so far as I can tell.

Case in point: An Arizona State University professor recently schooled students at the University of Tennessee.

According to Asao Inoue, higher-education writing classes suffer from the oppression of “white language supremacy.”

Asao’s speech was titled “The Possibilities of Antiracist Writing Assessment Ecologies,” and amid the dropping of science, he informed attendees as follows:

“White language supremacy in writing classrooms is due to the uneven and diverse linguistic legacies that everyone inherits, and the racialized white discourses that are used as standards, which give privilege to those students who embody those habits of white language already.”

If I accurately understand, privilege prevails whenever someone — by sheer coincidence — happens to communicate via the same alphabet, spelling, and grammatical rules as are practiced at the American university level.

Hence, the fact that kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, and high school precede college and teach the exact same tenets is of no import.

Additionally: Anything originating with lighter-skinned individuals is, by definition, a KKK-ish calamity.

Fortunately, as noted by The College Fix, Asao offered a way to end the “Habits Of White Language” — otherwise known as “HOWL.”

“While HOWL in and of itself is not white language supremacy,” he said, “when used as a singular standard against all students, it becomes so.”

Profoundly, the problem is solved by giving grading an “F.”

From the Fix:

[Asao] suggested implementing labor-based grading because it “redistributes power in ways that allow for more diverse habits of language to circulate.”

In such a system, effort replaces — as worded by the outlet — “the grammar, style and quality of [a student’s] work.”

The professor wants to pummel the nastiness of normalcy; also, it appears, people in wheelchairs speak a different language than those differently situated:

“Labor-based grading structurally changes everyone’s relationship to dominant standards of English that come from elite, masculine, heteronormative, ableist, white racial groups of speakers.”

How is white supremacy devilishly damaging, say, deafness?

I reference my mention of a universal constant.

During the 70-minute presentation — co-sponsored by the departments of English and Psychology at the UT Knoxville — Asou paused intermittently.

He explained:

“Pausing in our work helps us intervene and disrupt by first noticing ourselves participating in racism, engaging in white fragility, in white rage, or white language supremacy.”

Perhaps the professor’s on to something.

Maybe one day, standards will be entirely eliminated.

And in that utopia, all will be rewarded for their efforts: Asao’s house will be built by someone architecturally illiterate yet impressive in their attempt; his television won’t power on yet will be the product of stellar stick-to-itiveness; and his car will work something like this:

It might make for a less luxurious life, but at least we’ll have finally felled universal evil…and freed all existence from white supremacy.

‘Til then, if you’re itching for more wickedly whitely-written words, Asao — associate dean at ASU — is also an author:

Be sure to pause as you go.

-ALEX

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